Connect Series.II

Designed to Connect. 

“There is something about togetherness that affects the heart”ⁱ

 Part II

It takes a lot of valour and strength to look beyond the apparent weaknesses in people's lives to identify with the strength and virtues that God has laid up in the life of every regenerated soul, but a lot of grace is needed to be able to effectively build up and release these God given strength where the weaknesses once prevailed.

To build up one in a fruitful life of maturity, much more is required than being able to identify weakness and administering the necessary counselling or disciplinary measures such as scolding and admonishing the erring one, rather building relationship by connecting provides a more potent tool for both the life of the counsellor and the counselee to flow into each other in such a way that the response is love motivated rather than by set rules or obligations. This is to say that a community that heals is one that is capable of letting people see through the eyes of love, their most deeply buried ailments, exposing them, and through collective encouragement are able to handle their struggles more appropriately and effectivelyⁱⁱ

Connecting: the centre of life

“Use your head!” is one phrase most often repeated, but at the centre of our Christian confession should be, “follow your heart!”

“There is obviously a place for advice, insight and friendly encouragement-but not at the centre. I suggest that the absolute centre of all powerful attempts to impact people for good is connecting.”ⁱⁱⁱ

One of the operations of the Holy Spirit in the life of every Christian is to build a living and dynamic relationship that interconnects us with one another and then to God, by constantly revealing to us the character and the person of our Lord Jesus Christ and by showing us how we are reflected in the light of His countenance. He is also the chief instrument for our empowerment in the ministry of reconciliation with other men and with God-“He in essence is the driver of the whole connecting force!”

“To be alive in biblical terms is to be one with God or to be in the Lord just as to be dead means to be separated from Him.”^iv It could therefore be said that if to be connected means to be at peace with God and others then to be disconnected would mean to be separated or isolated from bonding relationships with God and with others.

Those who find themselves in this state may actually experience a certain sense of satisfaction at not having to render account to anyone and at not being saddled with the responsibilities of others, in which case such individual may not realise the enormity of what he or she is lacking, and of the difference that it would have made to his or her quality of life and experience. 

The most unfortunate part is that such a person does not realise the great potentials that God has bestowed on him to affect others and that in doing that he is enriched by him immeasurably. They may either be unnecessarily overwhelmed with a deep sense of inadequacy or otherwise inflated with an illusionary sense of power and confidence.

It is essential to say that each of us needs to come to the realization that beneath the garb of our presumed personality, what we are and what we have, lies a God given ability to touch hearts and lives, which has absolutely nothing to do with all those qualities that we arrogate to ourselves.

It could therefore, be very exciting to discover the biblical principle that we ought to live by but quite frustrating when we lack the power and motivation to abide by them.

In our Lords prayer, Jesus teaches us to ask God to forgive us our offences even as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us; this act represents one of the most vital tools in the concept of connection for it goes that for us to be connected with one another there must be a willingness as well as the readiness to forgive and to accept forgiveness, and on the other hand, for us to be connected to God, we must have asked and received His forgiveness and live daily with the assurance that we are accepted and welcome in Him.

The knowledge that we have been accepted just as we have accepted others, helps us build bridges of trust through which we can convey the rivers of living waters (Jn. 7:38) that flow out of our bellies to the parched and weary souls of those whom the Lord has brought our way, but we must be careful to ensure that the bridge is firmly built and solid enough before any attempt is made to put weight on it.^v

“we have all been created by an eternal community of three fully connected persons.”^vi

Connection and vision: 

 Part of Gods original vision and plan for the human race was and still is that we may experience the kind of fellowship and love in communion that exists in the Godhead; and for that very reason, life in its true sense cannot be divorced from unity with God through Christ and death on the other hand would mean estrangement form God and such is the strength of that truth that on the day the first man sinned at Eden, he could not have been more dead, and when through the second Adam we are reconnected to God we could not experience life in its fullness in any better way.

For us to fully partake in this kind of intricate and eternal relationship we need to have the vision of what God is doing and what He can do in the lives of our brethren; we need to be able to reach out across the void and “make up for that which is lacking in the body of Christ.” 

That is to say that it is expedient that we fill up each other and compliment as well as complement one another in our journey towards the full stature of Christ. The author wrote:

“When a vision of what another person is and could become because of Christ is the fundamental passion behind all the efforts to relate, powerful connecting occurs…powerful relating consists of grasping a vision of what God has in mind for someone and the faith to believe that the vision could become reality. A godly vision generates an excruciating sorrow when someone moves away from that vision, but that sorrow never eliminates hope or leads to disdain, and a godly vision releases giddy excitement when someone moves toward it, even just a little.”^vii

 “what every Christian can pour into another is the powerful passion of acceptance, a passion that flows out of the centre of the gospel, a passion that fill the heart of God”^viii

 Vision in the highest:

If we can "X-ray" Gods heart, we may see that at the very centre of His heartbeat is the deep rooted desire to have all of mankind flowing in the unity of spirit that exists between the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, this could be clearly seen in the Lords high priestly prayer (Jn.17: 11b) as Jesus prayed, “Holy father keep through thy own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one as we are one

The oneness of the blessed Trinity dates back to the dateless past when there existed nothing yet but the Great IAM, Eliel and His name was nothing more that Jehovah, the self existing one, the eternal one, before He became Jehoiakim, the creator of all things and the One who sets it all up, when there were no Cherubs and Seraphs bowing down before His mercy seat and countless number of angels in the celestial choir singing praises of His wonder and majesty (Heb 12:22) When His fellowship was just with the Son and the Holy Ghost, three distinct persons but eternally and inseparably one, in unity and love and wisdom rejoiced in His holy presence. (Pr. 8:22-31)^ix

Out of the vast expanse of the macrocosm He chose us to demonstrate His eternal love and the unity in the Godhead, but when the first man failed woefully to be the bearer of this glorious attribute, It pleased Him to consummate His vision and plan in the person of His own son Jesus Christ, “for in Him dwells the fullness of the God head bodily” (Eph.3:10,17-19; Col.3:9-10) and He made no attempt at any pretentious acts of modesty when He repeatedly and proudly announced for all to hear that “this is my beloved Son, with whom I am exceedingly pleased” i.e. During His baptism,(Matt.3:13-17;Mk.1:9-13; His transfiguration.(Matt.17:1-13; Lk.9:28-36)and with some Greek enquirers.(Jhn.12.20-28).

 “Something powerful has been placed within us that we are to release toward others in a way that promotes godly community”^x.

What’s good about us?

There is no gain saying that man by nature has an innate inclination towards that which is evil and sinful; but for connection to take place, and for the power of God to be release to touch something good in another, we must be ready to accept and believe that there is a God given goodness deposited in others, and that by patiently trusting and rejoicing in them, their short comings not withstanding, we would be able to release God's power into their lives to reactivate that goodness which may then work effectively in them.

It is said that folks would rather buy an idea than have it sold to them. That is to say that if we approach people with an “ identify-the-problem and-fix-it” kind of attitude, there is every chance that we either run into a brick wall, in which case we are totally and completely rebuffed or we run into a glass wall, in which case we have the illusion of getting somewhere with them but actually ending up nowhere other that where we have always been.

On the other hand if people could feel your heart reaching out for them and sense its vulnerability as it ventures out in search for the hungry soul, they are most likely more prepared to naturally gravitate toward you in response to your tender heart, and would find immense delight when their thirst is thus quenched by the effectual working of the Spirit that is released through you.

 

Bridges are built to connect with those who are lost in the jungles of this 

life, where lonely souls wander in search of deliverance. To reach out to ailing and hungry hearts, and by so doing we ourselves are nourished by the abundance that God has promised all those who will venture out of their comfort zones to lunch out to the deep places of this life.

It could therefore be said that “ unreleased goodness is our biggest problem and released badness is the most serious hindrance to releasing our goodness”^xi and that for us to be able to grow in the goodness in us, we must have to apply our hearts and lives to the process of “putting off” of the things of the flesh while we “put on” those things that glorify God and edify the spirit.(Eph.4:22-25).

It is centric to our Christian confession  that we are under the pull of two opposing “passions” one luring us towards that which is bad and evil, while the other commends us to that which is good, pure and holy before God. It is also pertinent that the very heart of God is to help us with all His tender loving kindness and patient endurance, come to the realization that we are better off when we flee from the former and tilt toward the later.

Please share these thoughts with someone today, if it has been of help to you!

Notes.

i crab32

ii Crab34

iii crab43

iv Pastor Tunde Bakare, The Latter Rain Assembly,(Lagos Nigeria)

v crab50

vi crab53

vii Crab52

viii crab66

ix Crabb 57

x Crabb

xi Crac 73

Connect Series.I

Broken Bonds

“The idea is this: When two people connect, when their beings intersect as closely as two bodies during intercourse, something is poured out of one and into the other that has the power to heal the soul of its deepest wounds and restore it to health.”ⁱ

Part 1: 

Getting Started:

It is sad to say that many godly and dedicated men and women, who in all their earnest efforts have given their very best to their families and children, eventually end up with the heart rending experience of seeing the children that they have raised with ultimate devotion, turn out to be rebellious to the basic truths that had formed the foundation of their upbringing and family faith. This could be quite disconcerting.

The author, recounting his own life experience with his older son Kep, to whom he gave all that a God fearing dad could ever wish for this son, namely, his time, attention and a good foundation in godliness, yet he went his own way when he came of age. His experience reveals how some interesting factors that may ordinarily seem positive from a conventional Christian perspective, such as his dreams (or prayers, as some would prefer to put it) for his son, a predictable lifestyle, a good college degree and a godly wife and home as well, may turn out to be like giving the right set of medications to the wrong patient.

His breakthrough came when he stopped compelling, to start connecting with his son, “his proactive rather than reactive response”ⁱⁱ to his sons expulsion from college marked a new beginning for a relationship where chains of demands are traded for open doors, and open arms of acceptance.ⁱⁱⁱ And for that reason his son was able to see not his dad as always, rather he caught a glimpse of Christ reflected in His glory in the person of his dad, and with that glory came the power, and nothing was ever the same again, sins were forgiven, wounded hearts were healed and broken relationships were mended all because someone gave way to the Holy Spirit to lead him into the mystery of Gods energy made possible through connecting.

“Relationships heal when they reflect the energy of Christ and if we see ourselves clearly, we will be able to see into the tangled hearts of another”^iv (Matt. 7:3-5)

The Healing Community: 

“The healing community is one that lets people know that they delight in them even as Christ does and one that eagerly looks for the goodness in their hearts, identifying the passions that are prompting loving, strong choices also it one that exposes the darkness in their hearts, their sin and pain, in order to engage them more convincingly with the saviour’s kindness; for it is the kindness of God that leads to repentance.”^v

By letting people know we delight in them like Christ does, it is intended that we be able to look way beyond their sinful habits or some particular actions, to find and concentrate on the goodness that God has deposited in them; it is also being able to get ones heart rigged to that of one wounded soul, such that their could be an abundant flow of the essence of Christ, his passion and saving grace, from one heart to another bringing with it the healing “balm of Gilead”(Jer.8: 22) such that the one who receives as well as the one who gives are both nourished by the healing power of this treasure that can only be released when two hearts connect,^vi and that was the easy part.

The hard part is that for one to be able to look for the goodness in another’s heart, identifying the passions that are prompting loving strong choices, he or she ought to be very acquainted with “the good so intimately”^vii as to be able to go through what ever it would take to grow in it; it is not good enough to have theories of good, rather, more important is the ability to reflect it through ones daily living and in all spheres of ones life.

It also involves the willingness to grow in the direction of being able to resist the urge to quickly pinpoint or emphasise the negative causes of problems in someone’s life, rather to be able to see through the veneer of bad into the goodness that God had stored up in him, through “an affirming exposure of what ever evidence of Gods spirit (that could) be found in the midst of the problem”^viii

The Spirit of wisdom helps us to look beyond the apparent disaster in brokenness, scaling all the negative implications in order to see broken things and broken people as potential raw materials for a great masterpiece befiting our Lord and Master Jesus.
Also we understand that beautiful mosaics could be made out of broken vessels.

We behold , but not through eyes of judgement rather we see through merciful eyes that which no ordinary eyes could see, but only the Spirit filled mind could behold-The power of God to turn a hopeless situations into a glorious testimony.

It may not be easy to reflect these virtues if we see ourselves struggling with the same “demons” that the other who has come to us for help is trying to defeat and more especially when we are trying to defeat them ourselves, but by learning dependency on God, trusting in His word and surrendering our will to Him we may be able to take a positive step in the right direction, and that is not all, for “…the absolute centre of what (God) does to help us change is to reveal Himself to us, to give us a taste of who and how He really is, and to pour His life into us.”^ixAnd one of the ways He does that is by situating us in a community of people who have experienced Him in diverse ways and in different situations, men and women who are apt to impart the life of Christ in us so that we in return would be able to do likewise.

The apostle Paul urged Timothy to commit what he has learnt from him to faithful people who would be able to teach others as well. (2 Tim. 2:1)

Exposing the darkness in someone’s heart, their sin and pain, in order to engage them more convincingly with the saviour’s kindness, could become the only alternative we are left with when trying to reach a hurting soul, letting it see “grace at work when judgement is most deserved” and to be surprised with Gods forgiving love which unleashes the good that both repels and expels the bad in the soul.^x

This exposure begins with the realization that our disconnection from God, ourselves and others is a product of sin, our sins, and that God has done what it takes to reconnect us and is ready to go all the way to fill us with His goodness and to reveal Himself and His ultimate good will to us; that He brings us to this point of realization neither by finger pointing nor by emphasising all the bad that could be found in our lives, rather He draws us into His glorious presences and through “His self disclosure we are struck in the face by our sheer filthiness in contrast to His splendid purity.”^xi

It took this kind of revelation to bring the prophet Isaiah to the point where he paused for a while from dishing out “woe calls” on others, pointing a finger at himself he cried out, “woe is me for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for my eyes have seen the king, the Lord of host.”(AV)

From the patriarchs to the prophets down to the apostles, God has always effectively addressed the issue of sin or pain by consistently revealing His abundant mercies and grace, His purity and immutable righteousness, such that for us to be able to effectively expose the darkness in someone’s heart, we should be able, to deal with our own sins and pains, putting them in clear perspective, then we may be able to reach out to help others reconnect with themselves and to God. (Matt.7:3-5)

“Every time someone picks up the courage to share his innermost discomfort or fears, you are presented with an open window, a rare opportunity to connect”

 

The Empowered Community:  

Most times when we are approached by a hurting soul our reaction would either to retreat, reprove or refer^xii, an automatic mechanism of self preservation would spring up in us putting us as far removed from the situation as could be possible, even while we belt out “comforting” words of knowledge and wisdom somewhere deep in the fabrics of our being we would wish to be left alone and relieved of the dreariness of other peoples affairs while hoping that someone more prepared for such situation shows up to redeem us and save us the embarrassment or commitment that may ensue, as the case may be.

On the other hand we might chose to take up the-right-hand –of-God attitude by aptly giving a sermon to the troubled person, pointing out all the things that might have gone wrong and just how it could have been avoided, coming up with all possible solutions that if carefully heeded would have and still may, resolve the crisis in the individuals life.

This approach tends to keep the individual riveted to his past with every consciousness of his failure or mistakes, while pretending to provide solution for healing. The other approach would be that of completely extricating ones self from all forms of involvements by referring him to someone else who would supposedly be better equipped to address his complicated situation, without as much as lifting a finger by way of helping out, this outlook is one of “ you-can-never-get-drowned-if-you-don’t-deep-your-feet-in-the-river” kind of mentality, if you don’t get involved at all you would not be responsible for anything.

In a world that tends to diagnose and cure everything, the reaction toward a hurting soul could take an unfortunate turn downward in that direction, when all that was ever needed would be to plug back the disconnected piece pack to the mains rather than take it apart or replace a chip when none is broken in the first place.
Irrespective of what the problem may seem to be, be it addiction to food, pornographic materials or depressive attitude, it could be said that beneath these tendencies lies a deep need for a starving soul to be plugged-in again; for an estranged heart yelling for attention to be connected back to the source of life.

Most time the trouble is that it appears to be more noble and easier for the ailing one to accept his situation if it should have a name tagged on to it, like eating disorder, compulsive lying etc, thereby qualifying him to be labelled as patient rather than the seemingly “pathetic-chicken-hearted” picture painted by a mere soul yearning for love and affection that is involved in connecting. The truth is that no mater how hard our pride and ego might turn us, still deep within each and every one of us is that “chicken heart” that yearns to be hugged and comforted and one that would delight in being a source of warm and comfort to another ailing soul.

“Why must you die of thirst while deeply immersed in a river of sweet spring water? There could only be one of two reasons .a) either the fountain is poisoned and you know it, or you are b) too proud to lower your head….”^xiii

Please share these thoughts with someone today, if it has been of help to you!

A reveiw of the book Connecting: by Dr Larry Crabb
Continue to Part II

Faith Series.III

KEEPING THE FAITH IN DIFFICULT TIMES 3

By Kemisola Kasali

My flesh and my heart faileth: [but] God [is] the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

– Ps. 73:26

How can I keep my faith consistently at all times? David said, “I cried unto thee, O LORD: I said, Thou [art] my refuge [and] my portion in the land of the living”¹. When I read this, I began to wrestle in my mind for an interpretation, but then, the Lord gave me an understanding. I ought to lay all before Him and claim his promises.

If you have ever been so confused as I was or you are in great perils of a broken heart, a relationship gone sour, a marriage gone crashing or fear of the unknown, lay everything before God and hold on to his promises. I keep reminding myself that “the spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear?”². Allow Jesus heal your wound instead of carrying it about. He delights in carrying your burden.

David understood the supremacy of God and he claimed his portion, but not in fear or doubt. In Ps. 23: 1 – 6, he also encourages us to continually confess Him into our lives. God told Abraham, “I am thy shield and thy exceeding great reward” – Gen. 15:1.

Afterward, I found myself thinking positively, meditating and confessing positively to build my faith. [Prov. 23:7; Phil. 4:8]. Whatever you confess to your spirit man, the same will come to pass in your life. [Prov. 16: 5 – 6; Heb. 13:5; 4:15; 6:10]

¹Ps. 142:5; ²Prov.18:14;

Faith Series.II

KEEPING THE FAITH IN DIFFICULT TIMES 2

By Kemisola Kasali

 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. – Phil. 4:12

Apostle Paul is one man I cherish so much and I believe you can learn from him too. Carefully read through the statement made by him. “I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything, I have learned the secret of contentment in every situation whether it be a full stomach or hunger, plenty or want” – Phil 4:12 (TLB)

He wants you and I to learn the basics of contentment, how to enjoy and endure in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. This is the attitude that we need to put on during the difficult times and easy times. Personally, I have come to realise that learning to be abased (in nothing) and abound (in everything) has helped me move on in life without any regrets because I always commit myself to Him, praying for His peace to guide my heart. 

So I believe you do not have to commit suicide because you are not able to buy your family new clothes or take them for a trip during winter, spring, summer or autumn. It’s not going to be for a lifetime. 
You can always enjoy the pleasurable things you long for, as long as there is life.

When you are faced with a lot of challenges, do not put on a weary look. Rather, put your trust in God. You can share them with your family and loved ones, telling them to pray along with you and your faith will grow exceedingly.

Please share these thoughts with someone today, if it has been of help to you!

Faith Series.I

KEEPING THE FAITH IN DIFFICULT TIMES 1

By Kemisola Kasali

“Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.” – Job 2:9

As I read this passage repeatedly to myself, feelings of disappointment, bitterness, frustration, and anger welled up inside of me. I wondered why Job’s wife should have said that. Then another portion of the scriptures came to mind: a double – minded man is unstable in his ways. Smiles crossed my lips and I thought to myself, “Serving God is so easy when all is going well.”

I am fascinated by the story of Job. I admire his response to the evil that befell. Job worshiped his creator even in distress. Are you in his shoes today? Have you been through similar situations in recent times? Job’s story is one you can learn from. He still worshiped God after he had lost all that he had. (Job 1:20)

Kenneth E. Haggin’s words flashed back to me: “Faith is a thing of the heart and not of the head.” Abraham was a man of great faith, who counted those things that were not as if they were. In other words, do not be discouraged when your faith is tested; rather, trust in God and lean not on your own understanding. God sees them all and He is saying to you today, “Be strong and courageous…” Joshua 1:9. This will help you to learn to forget the abuse and the losses, yet learning to make the right decision at all times.

In all, guide your heart with all diligence for out of it are the issues of life¹. …So then, faith come's by hearing, and hearing, by the word of God². For they overcame him (the evil one) by the blood of Lamb, and by the word of their testimony³. 

Please share these thoughts with someone today, if it has been of help to you! 

¹Prov.23; ²Romans 10:17; ³Rev. 10:17